Not into football but your family is? Sick as a parrot about four weeks of football? If so, here’s Joy Aldred’s survival guide.
• The red card. There is no escape. You may fancy a trip overseas, with a stroll through a pretty town but you’ll end up on the defensive, dodging massive screens positioned by a fountain here and an historic church there. While in Swindon, a pleasant drive to a riverside pub will probably result in a big screen by said river, relaying the very match you hoped to avoid.
• A game of two halves. Agree the essential matches the house must endure, and then ensure everyone spends an equal amount of time on what you want the family to do
• It’s all to play for. When you can’t escape an important match, throw a BBQ. Get those interested in the game in one room, close the doors and escort the rest to the garden for cocktails and conversation
• The subs bench. Get comfy and go on the internet. Make a list of gifts you’ll need to buy this year and see what’s out there. You don’t have to buy now, just use the opportunity to get cool ideas you never normally have time for
• Extra time. Always wanted to start that hobby or read those books but never had time? Now you do
• It’s a funny old game. If all else fails, lock yourself in a room with a month’s supply of nachos, a DVD player and the entire collection of Friends
• When they think it’s all over… be grateful it’s only every four years!
Tags: World Cup survival guide