Introducing Swindon Link's Agony Girl

By Jessica Durston - 20 June 2022

Opinion and Features
  • Amy, the Swindon Link Agony Girl

    Amy, the Swindon Link Agony Girl

From the pages of Swindon Link's sister publication The Ocelot comes Agony Girl in the form of nine-year-old Amy.

The Swindon Link team read Amy the questions and she tells them the answers.

Here is July's instalment:

Dear Agony Girl,

My boss keeps telling terrible jokes and it’s getting on my nerves at work – what should I do? And do you know any good jokes yourself?

Jessica, Wroughton

You should teach him some new jokes. Search up on safari or something and tell him to those jokes. I do have one joke – Why’s the giraffe’s neck so long? Because it doesn’t want to smell its feet.


Dear Agony Girl,

My cat keeps creeping up on me when I’m not looking and biting my knees. Should I change his food or give him more?

A cat lover with sore knees, Old Town

You should feed him some more food. Do you have Dreamies? You need to give him some Dreamies. If he comes to nibble on your knees. Grab the Dreamies and make a trail to the food bowl.


Dear Agony Girl,

I struggle to sleep at night what is the best way to get relaxed?

Tyler, Redhouse

At my mum’s I usually let my teddy Minnie Mouse tell me how her day was for five minutes and usually I’m asleep when she tells me. At my dad’s I swap teddies and I do breaking news every night about my day with the teddy. That always sends me to sleep.


Dear Agony Girl

My nephew is currently going through the terrible twos – I need help on how to deal with the tantrums?

Karen, Haydon End

Play a game that they want to play and play it. Don’t bang them on the head with a hammer as that doesn’t help.


Dear Agony Girl,

I’m trying to organise a party but I can’t think what games and what theme to have. Can you help?

Boris, Westminster

I would have a trampoline party at my house with a massive birthday cake. You should play ‘Dead man, Dead man, come Alive. When I count to number five. One, two, three, four, five. Dead man Dead man come alive!’ It’s a game where you have to pretend to be dead and you lay down in the middle of the trampoline and then people will jump around in a circle and count to five and then the dead person has to get up and tag one of the other people on the trampoline who would then become the dead person.


To ask Agony Girl a question, individuals can email Swindon Link at with 'Agony Girl' in the subject line.

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