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THE TOOT& WHISTLE VILLAGE PUB
The Village Centre,
Toothiil,
Swindon, Wilts
Tel. (0793) 486027
Managers: Dave and Carol Bartlett

THE TOOT'N NEWS

The story so far:— Dave & Carol, newly appointed managers of the yet unnamed pub in Toothill — Oh, not Toothill, yes
Toothill (everyone says that, I don't know why) are at their first site meeting in a little hut behind a very large pile of builders
rubble soon to be named "The Toot and Whistle". Tracy Tremblin, a pupil at Toothill Primary School wan the competition run by
Wessex Taverns to find a suitable name for their latest development, a £300,000 pub at Toothill. The pub design, by Michael
Sassoon, is loosely based on a Spanish rancho style with lots of wood and wrought iron work. Some special features are to include a
children's room, skittle alley, darts, pool table and a spacious landscaped area for summer use. Truly a social and leisure centre for
the community.
Now, as I was saying, we were in this site hut behind the pub, and had been deliberating on the merits (in broken Irish) of
bird extinction, as the whole project was in jeopardy because two blackbirds were in the throes of forming their own little
community, and our friendly workmen refused to disturb them. Our only alternative was to restart work with the birds permission.
After this,building progressed quite quickly, although no-one really expected us to open on time. But we did, even though it meant
Carol and I had to several times climb in and out of first floor windows because workmen had nailed up the doors.
The opening was graciously overseen by his worship the Mayor of Thamesdown who pulled and sampled the first pint, which
was closely followed by half of Swindon, ensuring regular deliveries of Ushers Best Real Ale and Carlsberg Lager for some months.
After about six months, things began to stabilize, and this was brought home to the pub by the arrival of our first Guiness drinking
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baby. Our youngest regular, Craig Harbour, weighing a healthy 6 /2lbs was born in July to happy parents Carol and Steve.
During the next month or so, we were to play hosts to Liverpool footballer Alan Kennedy, and to celebrate the diamond
wedding of Kath and Harry Smith, who were wined, dined and presented with gifts from Guiness as they are both regular Guiness
drinkers in the Toot.
During the month of October, we felt it was time to promote our food which was going quite well but not making quite the
impact it should have. We overcame this problem by featuring food from different countries, e.g. Italian, French and traditionally
English, all accompanied by a free glass of wine or beer, whichever was applicable.
Our first bit of real trouble (the night Glen Palmer didn't come in!) was when Mighty Mick Malone decided to give the Toot
and Whistle the benefit of all the drink he had consumed that day by arriving at 6.30 p.m. "steamed out of his brains", shouting
and swearing as only he knows how. When asked to leave, as was by now the procedure in the pub, our Mick decided to make an
offer I could not refuse. He offered to re-shape my face with his bare hands. This sort of talent is rare these days so led me to give
some thought on the subject ... could I cope with the proposed improvements? Would this be too much, being smooth, debonair,
sophisticated, all this and a ski-slope for a nose? No — it was too much, so in marched P.C. Tom O'Connor, immediately grabbed
the situation by the neck, and proceeded to talk loudly in our friend's ear who, upon hearing the magic word "nicked" he left the
pub in short, sharp, jerky movements, later to be found in court facing a hefty fine as he had made the same generous offer to
someone who was not so easily impressed as yours truly.
October also brought the Raft Race, a silly idea really but great fun. Beer barrels, bits of string, lumps of wood and whisky
to console and thaw out frozen bodies numbed by October rain and freezing conditions. The race, run on the Thames at Lechlade
is planned to be an annual event to raise money for the R.N.L.I. The event was followed in the evening by a Tramps and Tarts
fancy dress night — lumps all over the place, especially on some very different—looking male customers. This years race is planned
for July, so watch press for details.
December brought a most bizarre happening. 110 red and white monsters dressed in Santa Claus outfits, all done in the best
possible taste, to raise money for St. Margaret's Hospital at Stratton. This event captured the imagination of the media as national
papers clambered over each other to take photographs of our leggy barmaids in their (SPECIALLY MADE BY GWEN) outfits.
T.V., Canadian radio and even veteran wrestler Jacky Pallo were there to make the occasion a very worthwhile fund raising venture,
raising £550 for the old folks at Christmas.
Our first Christmas in the pub was a very busy affair as is traditional. Christmas dinners for The Happy Wanderers, and a
very large raffle with lots of prizes, the star prize being a bicycle donated by Artdeans. This yet unclaimed prize is to be raffled
off again on 23rd May during our 5-a-side football tournament fun weekend.
Into the New Year with piper Alec Hendry, and things remain steady with pool and darts teams holding their own in local
leagues. In our first 9 months our regulars were to get quite a reputation for charitable and fund-raising activities. This is what
probably stimulated the Toni Bamford appeal, instigated by Veronica Tooze and friends at Art Wallpapers in Regent Street. This
was to be our biggest and best effort so far, raising nearly £1,500 in sponsorship and raffles held in the pub, the highlight of this
event being the pool marathon. The marathon, set over 72 hours, was a mammoth challenge for our lads who rose to the occasion
with their usual gusto. This certainly was a memorable period with bodies strewn all over the skittle alley in various stages of sleep,
meals cooked and served by Carol, food incidentally generously supplied by Newsfare and Fruit Basket. Ruling was strict, no
drinking of alcohol outside licencing hours and no leaving the premises, so it was not as easy as some might think, but the lads
coped admirably.
We now find ourselves in April, an established clientele, pool, darts and football teams poised to attack another year in their
respective leagues. The football team applying for the first time under the guidance of Mick Turner, tel. 29376 for those interested.
The darts team are waiting to collect their trophy for winning the league in their first season — a tremendous effort. Well Done
Lads!!
All this, and more, not specifically mentioned, paints the picture so far, as we end our first year in your company. We can
proudly boast of having the best customers around.
So, good people of Toothill — yes, that's right, Toothill — you can be assured of a continued warm welcome at the Toot and
Whistle as both Carol and I look forward to another year in your company.