Swindon Link's Agony Girl is back this month with more advice

By Swindon Link - 20 March 2023

Opinion and Features
  • Agony girl Amy

    Agony girl Amy

From the pages of Swindon Link's sister publication The Ocelot comes Agony Girl in the form of ten-year-old Amy. We read her the questions and she tells us the answers. To ask Agony Girl a question yourself email us at [email protected] with 'Agony Girl' in the subject line.

Dear Agony Girl,

Costs are going up at the moment. Everything is getting so expensive. How can I tighten my belt? Have you got any money-saving tips?

Josie, Marlborough Road

No. Do what I do and get someone else to pay for things like my dad. Buy cheap supermarket own brands. They don’t taste as nice but they save money. Start your own business or something. I don’t really know as I’m not 32.


Dear Agony Girl,

They say tax shouldn’t be taxing but I’m having a ruddy nightmare on how to file my tax return. You can never get through to HMRC and they make it harder to do than to get backstage into a Beyonce concert. Can you help?

George, Marlborough

Why would a boy called George, who I think is my brother, go to a Beyonce concert? He should pay his tax though as otherwise he might go to prison.


Dear Agony Girl,

Help! I’ve fallen down the stairs. Can you help?

Greg, Redhouse



Dear Agony Girl

This big bully footballer keeps telling us that we’re the baddies by telling people that they aren’t allowed in our place even if they are fleeing even bigger bullies. What should we do?

Rishi and Suella, London

Tell him to go away and tell him to shut up. Tell the footballer to stop being mean. You should definitely let the people who are trying to escape the bigger bullies in your place though. Can we get McDonalds?


Dear Agony Girl,

My partner has a sore leg and is supposed to rest it, but she keeps chasing me around the house and warning me about things like being careful not to blow the house up when I use the microwave.

How can I persuade her to rest instead? Please note that I can’t be stern with her as one day she’ll be well enough to climb the stairs and find my hiding place.

Yours worriedly,

Jim, Gorse Hill

Tell her to rest or you’ll kick her out. Buy her Roblox for her phone so that she can keep busy. That keeps me busy.

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