Swindon Link's Agony Girl offers more golden nuggets of advice to the public

By Jessica Durston - 25 January 2023

Opinion and Features
  • Amy, the Swindon Link Agony Girl

    Amy, the Swindon Link Agony Girl

From the pages of Swindon Link's sister publication The Ocelot comes Agony Girl in the form of nine-year-old Amy. We read her the questions and she tells us the answers. To ask Agony Girl a question yourself email us at [email protected] with 'Agony Girl' in the subject line.

Dear Agony Girl,

I hear you are turning 10 years old this February.

How does it feel to be reaching double digits?

Tyler, Swindon

Weird. Because I’m turning into an old woman. It means I was born ten years ago which is ages. It means my hair will grow long and I’ll soon be watching Emmerdale every night.


Dear Agony Girl,

I’m stuck for ideas on how to make Valentine’s Day super special for my other half. I’ve got loads of ideas like balloon rides and candlelit dinners but have you got anything that would be really romantic?

Tony, Toothill

Maybe you should just go on the spinny thing in London that goes round and round called The London Eye and then propose to her. Maybe have someone dressed as Elvis with you so they can marry you.


Dear Agony Girl,

I think I’ve been friendzoned as my crush seems to want to just go to the gym with me and have long conversations but there’s never anything romantic going on. How do I get him to move it up a level or should I just move on and find someone who likes me for me?

Sharon, Groundwell

You should ask him to go to lunch with you and then go to London for shopping and treat yourself if he turns out to be toxic and spend all his money. Friendzone him instead if he continues. Boys don’t like being friendzoned.


Dear Agony Girl

My husband and I invested in an electric blanket during the recent cold weather. It is one of those

fancy ones with different heat settings for the two sides of the bed.

Unfortunately he tends to prefer his side so hot that the entire bed is like a furnace and I find myself retreating to the edge of my half with our cat.

How can I persuade him to cool his side down a bit?

Doris, Abbey Meads

Wake him and whilst he’s still half asleep blow a fan at him super cold and then pour a bucket of water on his head and tell him if he doesn’t change that you’ll do it every day. I just found out that a woodpecker is a kind of bird.

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