Swindon Link's Agony Girl is back this May to give advice to Swindon people

From the pages of Swindon Link's sister publication The Ocelot comes Agony Girl in the form of ten-year-old Amy. We read her the questions and she tells us the answers. To ask Agony Girl a question yourself email us at [email protected] with 'Agony Girl' in the subject line.

Dear Agony Girl,

I get lonely in my house and I’m thinking of getting a pet. What animals make good pets?

Celia, West Swindon

Cats. Because they’re amazing, cute and easy look after but don’t get a cat like my cat Ginny as she runs away. Get one like Steve as she’s very friendly.

 

Dear Agony Girl,

I have recently become a grandad. I have heard that grandad jokes are supposed to be even worse than dad jokes but I am unsure of where to find any.

Are there special books at the library or would it be better to look on the internet? And as I’m a grandad now, do I have to refer to the internet as something like ‘that internet thingie’?

Yours confusedly,

A new grandad, Liden

Don’t do anything like you just asked. Listen to me because I’m smart and I know good grandad jokes. Like the time I fell asleep on some old magazines. I guess I had back issues. That’s a joke.

 

Dear Agony Girl,

I am a bit of a daydreamer and sometimes I lose focus. Do you have any advice and do you even daydream yourself?

Tyler, Swindon

Yes. Whenever I get bored in class. Earlier in class when we were learning about space I ended up daydreaming about, like, being at a friend’s house having a really good play.

 

Dear Agony Girl

I’m the subject of a massive witch hunt and I’m not even a witch! They keep trying to arrest me for dodgy things but shouldn’t I be above the law even if I did some of the dodgy things? It’s so unfair. How do I stay out of prison? Should I become President so that they can’t touch me?

Don, Florida

Only do dodgy things secretly from now on and they won’t be able to hunt you. Maybe stop dressing up like a witch and then that would also stop the hunt.

 

Dear Agony Girl,

Who would win in a fight - a shark or a bear?

Kim, Gorse Hill

I think a bear as it could rip the shark into pieces and have it for dinner.