From the pages of Swindon Link's sister publication The Ocelot comes Agony Girl in the form of nine year old Amy. We read her the questions and she tells us the answers. To ask Agony Girl a
question yourself email us at email@example.com with 'Agony Girl' in the subject line.
How can I stop my dad from 'dad-dancing' at parties?
A concerned daughter, Abbeymeads
Tell him to stop and then show him some good moves as if you don't show him some good moves he's going to carry on doing his stupid dad dancing. A high kick and a twirl and maybe some breakdancing should do it.
Dear Agony Girl,
I am currently trying to get back into reading. Can you give me some advice on how to do this? And could you recommend some good books?
You just have to read. You have to turn the telly off and whenever you try to turn it back on make it so you get a shock if you turn it on too much. You need to read silently and peacefully so you get into it. I recommend Stephen King books as that's what my dad reads.
Dear Agony Girl,
My elderly mum is a very lovely lady but is going a bit deaf. Whenever I visit I have to speak very loudly to make myself heard and she also has the sound on her television so loud that the house shakes. How can I persuade her to go and have a hearing test?
Get her some of her favourite jewellery and say to her that I'll only give this back to you if you go and get your ears checked. I wouldn't like it if I couldn't hear anything as then I wouldn't be able to hear anything like laughter, talking and the cats meowing. I'd miss that.
Dear Agony Girl
There's so much evil in the world like Putin, Trump, war, racism, homophobia and criminals like murderers and burglars. There's also natural disasters like floods, plagues and earthquakes which are awful. How would you make the world a better place?
I would become the Prime Minister or The Queen and then tell everyone to stop being evil. If they said no I would then protest outside their homes and be really annoying until they said yes. People like Trump, Putin and racists and the others you said are total idiots and they don't deserve anything good. They should all be put in prison if they can't act nicely.